Where
did the voice come from and why is it so hard to have peace and quiet?
Do
you ever sense that the voice in your head is full of self-judgments?
How
come when you try to turn off the voice in your head...it doesn’t seem to go
away?
WHY?
WHY? WHY???
Firstly, what is Head Chatter or
Mind Chatter?
Head or Mind
chatter are those voices in your head and that talk to yourself. It is
those high intensity inner monologue and in some cases dialogue that distracts
or interrupts your activities. In other words, the stuff going on in
your head that suggest you should maybe get a second opinion or some kind or reassurance.
Does that sound familiar?
There is good
head chatter & and bad ones too. These chatters are created by you.
When you are in high and positive mood, the head chatter can encourage and give
you that confidence that you can do anything! However it also does the opposite
for you when you are low, and the negative head chatter could bombard you
nonstop. The unwanted thoughts are the most challenging one.
So what do you do about it and how
can you stop this?
There are ways to deal with head
chatter. I don't think you can ever stop it, however, you can learn to embrace
it and control it.
Here are the steps that I've found
that work for me:
- Decide
what you want to get out of having this "constant chatter" in
your head.
- What
results do you expect?
- What
is your intention of creating this chatter? and
- Why
the same chatter keeps re occurring?
Honestly, the
truth is whatever goes on inside your head is your own doing. You’re creating
your thoughts good or bad, your dreams and your own "chatter". You do
this for your own reasons. So it's important to find out what they are and if
they are important and mean something then you need to take action and if they
are not important then stop creating the constant chatter.
If the chatter is
too over powering and it keeps going around in circles in your head, then grab
a note pad and write those thoughts down. You will be amazed at how this will
calm your mind and instead of having those thoughts floating in your mind now
it’s transferred onto paper.
Once those
thoughts are on paper you can review it and define its priorities and set
purpose goals to help you overcome those constant head chatter in your
head.
I find this
process works for me as I scribe onto paper. It lets me realise why I keep getting
the constant same head chatter and gives me options on how to deal with it too.
Remember you always have a choice to do something about it. It's up to you at
the end of the day.
If you truly
want to control or eliminate your unwelcome thoughts, use the "4-S
Method" of thought control. It comes from behaviour theorists/therapists
Dr. Joseph Wolpe, Dr. Arnold Lazarus and Dr Bob:
Below are the
steps that I find very useful and I hope you find them useful for you too:
These are Dr Bob instructions:
1. Stop sign -- When you create a thought you don't want in your head, in your
imagination hold up a huge red stop sign, perhaps being held by a stern-faced
crossing guard!
2. Shout it out -- Shout at the thought, scream at it, yell at it - not literally but
out loud in your mind until you can sense that it is leaving your thoughts.
(The nice thing about the mind is that it cannot contain more than a single
conscious thought at a time.) Treat it like an intruder in your mind, someone
you DO NOT want in there! Get angry at it!
3. Substitute -- Prepare a sentence or thought to put in the place of the unwanted
thought. Make it something strong, something positive, and something you really
want to believe! (Some people carry such positive or self-encouraging thoughts
with them, on 3 x 5 cards.)
4. Sustain -- Keep at it. YOU CREATED THE UNWANTED THOUGHT FOR A REASON!
("Psychology of Use" says you think all your thoughts in order to get
something from them!) As you kick the unwanted thought out the front door, it
will turn around and try to sneak in a window or down the chimney! DON'T LET
IT!
Keep repeating
the four S's until you find yourself to be in charge of the thought you don't
want. As you become more comfortable with this, you'll find you are more in
control of your whole mind, and also of your feelings.
By this time
next week you will feel more in control of your unwelcome feelings and
thoughts. If not...that's an indication that you actually get something out of
having such thoughts and feelings, and that you do not want to give them up
yet...
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