Tales My Mother Told Me... Tale 10 "Chicken scratches for what it gets"

Rooster, Hen and Chicks

Welcome to tales my Mum told me...

Tale 10: "Chicken Scratches For What It Gets"

This tale took place when I was 12 years old. We were living in a refugee camp on one of the Indonesian islands called Galang after our departure from our homeland Vietnam. I guessed at the time everyone who lived in the camp were all hoping one day their names would be called out through the announcement  so that we could resettle in a  new country like Australia, USA or some other European country. We used to call these countries "The new home of opportunities and freedom". 

While we were in the camp my parents met this little old lady and she was a clairvoyant of some kind and she offered to do a reading on Dad.  This old lady had an old thick book with lots of illustrations just like the one shown here. This book was quite old, and even now, I have not seen anything like it. Mum and Dad called this reading process as "The open book reading". 

How this book worked was that the old lady recited some quotes and she asked Dad for his date of birth and what Dads intention was to find out from the reading. Then she closed the book, asked Dad to close his eyes, to focus and to be present so as to get the connection with the book. He then had to flick through the pages of the book and open it. So when Dad opened the book, it  landed on a double page with a scene of a rooster, a hen and the chicks scratching along the soil for food with a quote "Chicken scratches for what it gets"

So I asked mum "What was the meaning behind the rooster, the hen and the chicks?"

"Well in the illustration, the rooster is your Dad, I am the hen and those little chicks are you and your brothers & sisters” Mum said.

"And...?" I asked anxiously.

"Your dad will take care of us when we settle in Australia and he will provide for us with food and a home just like the rooster did, leading the way and searching for food to take care of its family. The key message from the reading was your dad is a survivor and a hard worker. You can put your dad in any place and he will find ways to earn a living and to support us. We are his main priority. Just like the rooster you can put it in deserted places and he'll use the scratching method to uncover "buried treasures" from the soil such as bugs and small food bits that other chickens may have missed" explained my mother.

So how do we apply this quote "Chicken scratches for what it gets" into your business?

Let's have a look at several examples:

Just say if you are a wholesaler of a giftware business and you rely on your sales agents. A good sales agent would regularly visit his or her clients and build the relationship no matter whether the economy is booming or not. Just like a chicken, it needs to do its fair amount of scratching in order to find food to save him and its family from hunger. So in your business, it won't be in good shape if you're not prepared to do the hard yards and generate leads and sales opportunities. You too must do a certain of amount scratching. The more you scratch…the more you get in return.

If the sales agents are not hungry for sales then they will miss the sales opportunity to an active sales agent who is prepared to do a great amount of scratching. This agent will reap the sales and establish a closer relationship with his clients.

The second example is as a business owner you need to maintain a positive mindset with persistence and determination.  Just like the chickens, they are focused, they persevere and are determined. They know that the only way for them to find food is by doing a certain amount of scratching and they won't give up until they find food bits in the soil and if they pay more attention they will find more food than those chickens that were not as determined and focused.

Last example is as a business owner, sometimes we can get too comfortable and complacent. Our business could go into auto pilot where we focus only "in" our business and not doing the strategy planning such as working "on" and "above" our business. 

A business needs to be nurtured and consistently fine tuned. Working "in" your business is a given, this is where you make your products, create new ranges, see clients and generate sales. However working "on" and "above" your business are the two important ingredients that lots of business owners are not doing enough of. Working "on" is where you plan to grow your business and working "above" your business will help you to take your business to the next level. Sometimes we spend too much time working "in" our business and working hard like a donkey that we totally forget the reason why we wanted our own business in the first place. This is how working "above" your business will help you tune into your desire and passion so you can be on track to achieve your dreams and desires.

So my question to you is "Are you doing enough scratching in your business?"

Tune in for next week Tale Eleven...  

"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done" - Buddha

More Tales My Mother Told Me...

Volume 1:

Tale 1: "When You Help One, You Help Thousands"

Tale 2: "Your Mind is Powerful"

Tale 3: "The Importance of Self Understanding"

Tale 4: "Being Compassionate"

Tale 5: "Finding the Inner Calmer In You"

Tale 6: "The Magic Pen"

Tale 7: "Here comes the Fair- Weather Friend"

Tale 8: "Confidence & Competence"

Tale 9:"Being Present"

Tale10: "Chicken scratches for what it gets"

Tale 11:"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done"
Tale 12: "Frog In The Well"

Volume 2:

Tale 1: Pulling Up the seedlings to help them grow
Tale 2: Grind an Iron Pestle into a Needle

Tale 3: Talking about army on paper.

Tale 4: Being Persistent

Tale 5: A Poet’s Writing Skills Decline

Tales My Mother Told Me. Tale 7 "Here Comes The Fair -Weather Friend"

"無事不登三寶殿"

"You  don't go praying at the temple without
something on your mind"

Welcome to tales my mother told me...

Tale Seven: "Here Comes The Fair-Weather Friend!"- Vinh Van Lam

You may be wondering why I’ve used the Chinese idiom which translates as "You don't go praying at the temple without something on your mind" when talking about this week’s tale "Here Comes the Fair-Weather Friend". Let me explain...

This tale took place in our factory office. I was there with Mum doing my homework then my Mum's assistant came in and told her that Mr Dong is here to see her and Dad.

"Oh! Uncle Dong, what a surprise! When was the last time he came to see us Mum? I asked.

“It must be quite a while ago.” Mum replied.

“I wonder what he wants from us this time?" I asked inquisitively.

Mum looked at me and smiled.

Then I said out loud "無事不登三寶殿"  Which translates best as; "You don't go praying at the temple without something on your mind"

“Shoo! Be quiet little one... Uncle Dong may hear you, naughty boy!” Mum scolded me with a grin.

So about one hour later Mum returned to the office and I asked her "Did you give Uncle Dong what he asked for Mum?

"Not this time my little one" she replied.

Even though I loved using Chinese idioms to express what I was thinking, most of the time I did not really understand the deeper meaning of it all, or understand the context. Perhaps I was too young to comprehend fully.

I am sure you all can relate to this... For example, how often to we use phrases like "Fair Dinkum"? Or "Bob's your Uncle"? We know when to say those phrases in a particular situation, but do we fully understand why this slang is used, or where it came from?

I certainly didn’t understand the phrase, so I asked Mum to explain the meaning behind this Chinese idiom.

Here is what Mum told me...

"My little one, this idiom is often used in everyday conversation. It translates as  "You don't go praying at the temple without something on your mind". As humans we all do things for a reason, and mostly for our own personal gain.”

“The idiom suggests that a temple is not a place where people go to just hangout. People only attend the temple when the festivals are on, when they want something from God, or when they want to find some peace of mind like praying for their family, for luck, for health, or for good fortune and wealth...”

“So if people have no reason to go, if they don’t want something, then the last place they would go would be to the temple?" I asked to clarify.

“Exactly, my little one” Mum replied.

So, in Uncle Dong's case we hardly see him. He only turns up on our door when he wants something from us. This was especially true in good times, when our family business was thriving. But I remembered too that when we needed his help he was nowhere to be found.

While writing this tale I couldn’t find an English equivalent to this Chinese idiom. So I asked my partner Stuart, who suggested “Fair-weather friend”.

He also decided to post a message on Twitter and to see what others thought...

Within a few minutes we had received words like leech, user, wishy-washy, back-stabber and a couple more suggestions for fair-weather friend. But there was no real  equivalent for it.

After some discussion and contemplation we decided that "The Fair-Weather Friend" was the best match to the Chinese idiom.

A "Fair-Weather Friend" is a friend who is only around when they need you and when it's convenient to them, when there’s fair weather in other words... The minute they see the first sign of trouble (or bad weather) they will drop their friendship with you and move away.

So that’s how I came to sub title this tale "Here Comes The Fair-Weather Friend".

Now let's take a look at this tale and see how we can apply it to the business world. 

This tale is about relationships and connecting with people.

If you are running a business it is best for you to connect with the people around you regularly. The more closely you build a good relationship with others the easier it is for you to ask for help when you need it.

Take a look at Mr. Dong... Mum and Dad had helped him lots in the past and once he got what he wanted, he disappeared until he needed help again. Then he would turn up on our doorstep looking for more.

In business, as in life, there’s a balance of giving and taking. You can’t be successful if you’re all of one, or if you’re all of the other... You need to help others, and you need to be able to ask for help from others too. There’s a balance.

Have you ever tried to ask a favour from someone you haven't seen for a long time, or from a business acquaintance that you hardly associate with? The chances of gaining that favour from them would be minimal. But if you have a good relationship, and you maintain that relationship, a helping hand from them would be much more forthcoming.

Here is another example...

At our family business we get plenty of sales reps coming to see us.

Some are great at connecting with their clients. They visit regularly and get regular orders too.

There are however, plenty of Fair-Weather sales reps who only turn up when their business is slow, and when they need sales to meet their target. They are also the type of people who come in, start to complain about their business being slow, and hassle you for orders.

So here are some tips to help you steer clear of becoming a fear-weather business owner:

1.      Have a 90 day marketing plan:

·         Plan out your communications with your stakeholders: e.g. customers, suppliers, employees, etc.

·         Determine how regularly you want to communicate with your stakeholders: e.g., weekly, fortnightly or monthly.

·         Select the best communication channels: e.g. Email, newsletters, visitation, phone. Social network, trade shows, etc.

·         Select the products or services you would like to feature or promote. This gives you a real reason to connect with your customers.

Ask yourself with these questions:

·         When was the last time you connected with your audience?

·         How did you feel? What went well for you?

·         What were the challenges?

·         What would you do different next time?

Tune in for next week tale eight...  "Confidence & Competence"

More Tales My Mother Told Me...

Volume 1:

Tale 1: "When You Help One, You Help Thousands"

Tale 2: "Your Mind is Powerful"

Tale 3: "The Importance of Self Understanding"

Tale 4: "Being Compassionate"

Tale 5: "Finding the Inner Calmer In You"

Tale 6: "The Magic Pen"

Tale 7: "Here comes the Fair- Weather Friend"

Tale 8: "Confidence & Competence"

Tale 9:"Being Present"

Tale10: "Chicken scratches for what it gets"

Tale 11:"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done"
Tale 12: "Frog In The Well"

Volume 2:

Tale 1: Pulling Up the seedlings to help them grow
Tale 2: Grind an Iron Pestle into a Needle

Tale 3: Talking about army on paper.

Tale 4: Being Persistent

Tale 5: A Poet’s Writing Skills Decline

Tales My Mother Told Me... Tale 6: "The Magic Pen"

Welcome to Tales My Mother Told Me...

Tale 6. " The Magic Pen!"

This tale is about me when I was in year three at primary school. As a child I loved writing and I recall that even when I was not ready to attend school, I loved to pretend I had homework to do  and hung around my sisters and brothers while they were doing their own school work. At the time I was fascinated by, and admired people who had beautiful hand writing. I remember wishing that, one day when I got older and was attending school, I could write beautifully just like them.

Even till today, I still treasure the “magic pen" story that my Mum told me.

The story starts when I came home one day from school frustrated and Mum asked me "What is the matter my little one, why are you not happy today?  Something happened in school?"

"How do you know mum?" I said with a sad voice.

"Of course I know. You normally come home happy like a sunshine and have so much to tell me about your day at school. Now tell me what happened at school today." said Mum.

So I started to tell Mum that I was very disappointed because I was not selected to enter the school hand writing competition while two of my friends had been selected. I started to complain that I was not good enough and that I will never get selected because my writing was ugly... blah blah blah!

"Calm down and don't cry my little one” she said. “Don't be too hard on yourself, there will be another competition in three months time. I know you can get yourself ready for that one."

"But how mum? My writing is so ugly and I don't know what to do... it will take me forever to learn..." I said.

“Did I tell you about the magic pen that your grandma gave me when I was your age?” Mum asked.

“Where it is mum? May I have it please? Is it why you have beautiful handing writing? I needed to know.

"Now let me see where I left the magic pen". Mum mumbled as she went through the drawer.

Once she found the box she gave it to me and asked me to open it.

Now the box was full of all kinds of pens, and Mum told me that one of them is the magic pen. One of them had the power to make me write beautifully. All I had to do was to find it.

"How do I know which one is the magic pen?” I asked. There are so many pens in the box Mum, which one is it?"

"Why don't you start writing with those pens and find the magic pen that way?" Mum suggested

“But how will I know when I've found the magic pen Mum?

"You'll know my little one... Just be patient" Mum said as she smiled.

At the time I was so excited and couldn’t wait to find the magic pen. So of course I decided to try all the pens in the box.

I remembered during that time I kept swapping and changing pens to find the magic pen.

Every day after school I got into the box of pens and started to copy a chapter from my text book into an exercise book. I kept writing everyday as I was determined to find the magic pen. So the process went on for almost three months.

One day at school I was talking to my two friends. We were going to decide who had copied out the most chapters from the book. We showed each other our exercise books. We were going to compete with each other to see who had written the most chapters from the text book.  Then one of my friends spoke out loud. "You did not write that! You got someone else to write that for you!”

"No!  I wrote them all myself! I didn’t get anyone to help me write". I replied.

"Then why is your writing is so different? Who did you get to write it for you? It's beautiful writing, so it can’t be your hand writing" said my friend.

"I don't know why you said that, it’s my own writing thank you" I was getting upset.

So I reviewed the whole exercise book and started to realise my writing had changed dramatically .And yet I did not even realise it myself.

Then it struck me!

The first thing came to my mind was that I had finally found the magic pen! I couldn’t wait run home to tell Mum.

"Mum, Mum! I've found the magic pen" I was panting with excitement as I ran into the house.

Mum smiled and said "That's great my love, show me your magic pen."

"Here it is Mum, I am so happy I finally found it." I said jumping with joy.

"Now why do you think this is the magic pen?" she asked.

"Have a look at my exercise book Mum. Look at my hand writing from a couple of months ago and now look at these pages I wrote a couple weeks ago. It's magic. I tried over fifty pens to find this Magic Pen Mum." I said.

"My little one, I am so proud of you. Your writing has transformed. I know you have found your magic pen. Can you do this for me please? I would like you to select any pen from the box and I want you to write a paragraph from your text book.

I looked at Mum strangely and asked "Must I use one of them? I already found my pen."

"Please do it for Mum" she said.

So I picked up one of the pens and start to write. To my surprise my hand writing did not revert to the old style. I couldn’t believe it, so I picked up another pen and started to scribe again. The results were just as good as the magic pen.

Mum looked and me with a big smile and said this to me; “My little one, there is no magic pen. You are the one who created the magic. The reason your hand writing has improved so much is because of your focus, determination, dedication, and perseverance. I saw you working really hard all those hours after school. And the results speak for themselves. Your writing has now transformed. It's just beautiful. The idea of a magic pen was to inspire and motivate you, to give you a  real reason to challenge yourself, and for your destiny.”

"Practice makes perfect!" said Mum as she kissed me on the forehead.

So how do you apply this tale of "the Magic Pen" into your business?

As a business owner you'll face many challenges. Sometimes you will need to step out of your comfort zone and also to embrace changes in your life and business.

What if you choose not to and choose to keep performing below the line?

Would you business grow? Would you grow as a person?

As Business LifeStyle coaches we see some clients stuck in these two zones. we call them:

1.      "Effect" rather than the "Cause"

2.      Making excuses rather choices

Being in Effect is rather easy, you don’t have to take action, just blame your circumstances on the other things around you. It’s never YOU. This also means you often feel like you are disempowered by your life's events, and not in control. 

However, if you choose to be in the "Cause" side, it really is a decision and an action. You take full responsibility for your destiny. It can give you more choices and opportunities as you will explore different options to improve or change your situation right now. In other words, it has the effect of actively empowering you to create your life in each moment.

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. 

We ourselves must walk the path". -Buddha

Making excuses rather than choices happens regularly to us too. Like not following through with what we want to do, the fear of failure, or success. Or lacking clarity... like the 'Real Purpose" behind why you want to achieve your goals. 

As a coach working with clients every day, we firstly help them to define their goals. Then we help them to see the value of making good choices, and not making excuses. 

Real Purpose will stop you making excuses and getting caught in the procrastination trap. In fact, it will empower you to do more as everything you do will have a real sense of purpose in your life.

The more you achieve your goals, the more confident and competent you will become. As you start to recognise and enjoy these accomplishments it will also give you a wonderful sense of well being.

And one more thing...

My Mum was right! There is no “Magic Pen”...

nor “Magic Pill” either...

It will take work, sometimes it takes lots of hard work .

Don't ever wait for a miracle to happen.  You BE the miracle and make things happen for yourself.

Where there is a real purpose and specific action, your goals can, and will, be accomplished.

Success is in front of you, you just need to know how to get there.

Tune in next week for Tale 7 "Here come the Fair- Weather Friend"

More Tales My Mother Told Me...

Volume 1:

Tale 1: "When You Help One, You Help Thousands"

Tale 2: "Your Mind is Powerful"

Tale 3: "The Importance of Self Understanding"

Tale 4: "Being Compassionate"

Tale 5: "Finding the Inner Calmer In You"

Tale 6: "The Magic Pen"

Tale 7: "Here comes the Fair- Weather Friend"

Tale 8: "Confidence & Competence"

Tale 9:"Being Present"

Tale10: "Chicken scratches for what it gets"

Tale 11:"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done"
Tale 12: "Frog In The Well"

Volume 2:

Tale 1: Pulling Up the seedlings to help them grow
Tale 2: Grind an Iron Pestle into a Needle

Tale 3: Talking about army on paper.

Tale 4: Being Persistent

Tale 5: A Poet’s Writing Skills Decline